Such mixed emotions surround New Year for me, a sense of loss for the year left behind, nostalgia for the memories made, grief over things I didn't get to do, or guilt over people I didn't see. As a performer, I always work through midnight and I suppose what I lack is the sense of closure that comes with the celebratory lead up and seeing out the new year, whether you go out or stay home to do so.
Having said that, I wouldn't change a single thing about this arrangement because I love to work and I love my job - especially after two years of sparse bookings! It's just an odd feeling of not being quite ready for new beginnings.
But I digress. It's January 2022, the time when we set our sights on new achievements and adventures, and hope restrictions won't get in the way. This is the time I usually log onto Goodreads and set myself an impossible reading challenge that I stress through the year to reach. I start planning out posts and blog topics, wondering when I'm going to have time, but wanting to be able to say I put out a daily post across social media and a weekly blog.
And in the meantime, whilst I'm stressing, I could be writing. Isn't that why I started this blog in the first place? To talk about my love of books and to document my own writing journey. A journey that's been at a standstill since the start of the pandemic.
For the past two years, I've sat on my finished novel, neglecting to send it to publishers or agents, lacking the motivation or inspiration to put pen to paper. I wasted time, and that's okay under the circumstances. But now's the time to hold up my hands and say "enough, get back to work".
Readers, I'm putting this into words so you can hold me accountable: this is not a year for reading challenges or marathon blog posts, this is a year for prioritising my writing and re-implementing a dream. My only goal is to fall back in love with my own book and characters.
That's not to say that I'm going to vanish of the face of the earth and delete social media. Only that I'm relieving myself of the obligation and the pressure.
Basically this is your advanced apology that this blog is about to get hella inconsistent ha!
Zuzu 🖋
Find me across social media @zuzuspages
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