...spine cracking controversy

SPINE-CRACKING – that’s right! I said it!

For those of you unfamiliar with the term, spine-cracking is the controversial, often misunderstood act of cracking the spine of a book the second you begin reading it, breaking it in as you would a new pair of shoes, so that it no longer feels stiff and uncomfortable to wear.

Some frown upon this much disputed approach to book-reading. I understand their confusion. The deliberate act of spine cracking can easily be misconstrued as an act of readers blasphemy, but any true-hearted reader knows it's actually a form of genuflection - a reverent bending of the knee in acknowlegement of an incredible piece of literature. I appreciate it the only way I know how - CRACK!
Spine-cracking is the ultimate way to demonstrate appreciation of a novel, and shame on anyone who thinks otherwise. I firmly believe that when you find a book you love, not only should you crack its spine, but you should bend the cover, scribble in the margins, correct the spellings and grammar that was missed by self-published authors or poor editing, stuff the book into your coat pocket when it's clearly too large to fit; drop it in your bath water because the duration of a bath is too long to wait to discover the fate of the character who's just run head long into a battlefield in the book you’re currently reading, then spend the next week trying to dry that book out on the radiator in the middle of summer and sweating yourself into oblivion in the process; dog-ear the pages to mark your place when you can't find your bookmark, dog-ear more pages to mark a passage of writing that you want to reflect upon later; stuff it under you pillow at night in hopes of absorbing some of the magic emitted from its pages, drop it in shock multiple times when you realise the author has just killed off yet another of your favourite characters (I’m talking to you, J.K Rowling).

How will your book know how much you appreciate it, when it looks all shiny and new and like you wouldn’t touch it with a barge pole for fear of wrinkling the cover? This comment I direct to my brother, who no longer cares to borrow my books owing to the supple, flexible comfort of their well-loved covers. He prefers to buy his own copies, the covers of which he will preserve and protect from the likes of me. Tut, tut. He doesn't know what he's missing.

However, I make one exception to this constructive destruction of literature, and that, of course, is VINTAGE LITERATURE! Beautiful old volumes that look like they belong on the set of a film. These books should be handled with care and preserved. Strictly no spine-cracking/dog-earing/coverbending allowed! No direct sunlight that’s going to bleach the colour out of the covers, no damp windowsills being substituted for bookshelves. No letting your cats find the ribbon that hangs down in them to mark the pages (apologies to my copy of Sense & Sensibility that nearly perished in the paws of my cat - I'll never leave the ribbons hanging out again!)

I hope I've made my case. Love your books to death, unless they're old! Then keep them from dying...

I'll be back with another blog next Monday! Until then, you can find me across social media @zuzuspages
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Zuzu 🖋